Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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