I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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