Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
