My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
