Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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