C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
