Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
