we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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