after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
