Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
