he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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