Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
