Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
