I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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