Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
