we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize