just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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