So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
