4 words: hood of his car
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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