My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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