I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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