there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
