Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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