You work out of a Hotel?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
