Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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