Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wear drunk well.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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