Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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