He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
