Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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