Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
