Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
