therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
