That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
