i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
