are you still at the devil's house?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
