i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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