ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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