my vag is so smooth its legendary
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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