thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
