Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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