"it" just moved
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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