if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
