So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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