Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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