my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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