"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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