She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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