meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
