Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
