She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
