I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
