They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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