Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
