i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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