You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
