I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
