Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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