The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
